Written by: Vickie Sullivan  |  December 22, 2016

Navigating the Holidays

One of my favorite things about this season: holiday movies. I like the old ones, such as It’s A Wonderful Life. The funniest shows for me, though, are the ones with wacky family dynamics with a heartwarming ending. Why? Because they show what we experience but don’t want to talk about.

So, let’s talk about it. Here are my two best strategies for navigating a cast of colorful characters we call family.

• Focus on the gifts. No, I’m not talking about what’s under the tree. In the past, I’ve expected people to give me something they don’t have at that moment: attention, empathy, whatever. And I get my feelings hurt when I didn’t get that. Now, I lower my expectations. I celebrate what I get and leave it at that.

• Show up. Before the fun begins, I decide what role I’m going to play. Am I the fun one, the serene one, the carefree one? And no matter what happens, I don’t break that role. When someone acts beneath their dignity, I either stay in that role or shut up. I won’t respond in kind. The result: When folks act like silly, I don’t make the problem worse. De-escalation is a very useful skill.

Yes, it’s a special time of the year. Navigating family dynamics makes sure the holidays stays that way.

May your holiday be filled with fun and good times!