Written by: Vickie Sullivan | January 30, 2020
The Best Way to Respond to Confrontive Questions
Many of us speakers face questions and comments that masks contempt. What we do after we receive confrontive questions will be used to evaluate our brand and perspective.
I saw this dynamic in action at a recent high-level event. A celebrity-turned-advocate responded to a question by hanging their head in exaggerated exasperation, then giving smart-alecky remark. The audience was stunned into silence.
Then it got worse. The awkwardness was quickly ignored by the next question. And the next question. The speaker’s reaction was so dismissive, the audience didn’t know what to do next. This right here is how elephants in the room are born.
As leaders, it’s our job to keep that elephant from showing up. So, here are two strategies to use when people ask questions that confront our perspective.
• Assume no offense. Even when it’s clear that the comment or question was meant to provoke, don’t take the bait. Treat the question as if your best friend asked it. In this case, this was a sincere inquiry about a real-life quandary based on personal experience. The speaker misjudged the intent and assumed hostility that wasn’t there. They forgot that the audience supported her cause.
• Use the truth as a segue. Every comment or question – no matter how snarky – has a smidgen of truth. In this case, a great response could have started with the person saying, “Yeah, I’ve heard that’s happening and it is unfortunate.” This is a great springboard to drill down on what to do next, the root cause—all sorts of perspectives. But find that small grain of agreement that can form a foundation.
Listen: How to Correct Awkward Responses
Whether we are on social media or speaking to a group, we thought leaders have interactions that can escalate fast. Use them as opportunities to connect and get more allies.
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