Written by: Vickie Sullivan | July 03, 2014
What Independence Really Looks Like
We in the U.S. are taking a long weekend to celebrate our country’s independence from Britain. While relaxing by the pool or barbecue, let’s ponder what independence looks like now that we are not under the control of another government.
My take: our dependencies are now internal. We have become too reliant on the mental pictures inside our heads. They are usually based on stories about what’s happening in a situation, what is “right” and what we see others doing. Our unconscious comparisons create a false reality that causes disappointment every time. They also create distractions that keep us from our goals.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to have values and opinions. It’s OK to stand up for what we believe in. Until those “values” cloud our ability to truly see another perspective. Until that “standing up” keeps us from having compassion for those who are outside our standard of perfect conduct. This is how judgment — of other people, of situations, or even ourselves is born. If you ever want to see judgment in action, check out online comments about a news story. The raw cruelty blows my mind and breaks my heart.
So my goal now: to be free of what I think other people should be. I’m putting my magic wand (the kind that goes “Poof! Now you think like me!”) away. When I no longer focus on what other people do, I have more mental bandwidth to live in the moment, take action toward my goals, and most importantly, pay very close attention to what I think, feel and do. Everybody wins.
What do you want to be independent of?
Other Resources You Might Like: