Written by: Vickie Sullivan | August 27, 2024
Why People Don’t Change
Last year, I highlighted a talk by Harvard economics professor Eliana La Ferrara. I had an opportunity to hear her present again this past spring. Her insights about social norms present a heads-up for us when advocating new ideas and expecting people to change.
A typical response to creating new behavior is to change the system with new rewards and punishments. The belief is that highlighting self-interest will encourage people to make the switch.
This popular approach isn’t effective because it doesn’t address a powerful emotional pull: social norms. According to La Ferrara, there are two big reasons why people won’t go against the crowd:
• Punishment. Many norms are based on the past, handed down by respected mentors and colleagues. Compliance breeds familiarity and cements those connections. Then inertia sets in. Any change upsets that sense of security and relationships. That is why no one wants to “go first” to spearhead change.
• Identity. The story many people tell themselves: I do this because it represents who I am. A popular approach is to dismantle the system that supports the behavior. That doesn’t work because other elements are valued. The antidote: Create an alternative that has meaning without the harmful behavior.
Perhaps it’s time to examine the meaning behind behaviors we want to change. Addressing these emotional connections will make replacing one behavior with another much more effective.
Listen: How to Create an Alternative That Works
Now Read This:
- How to Avoid Hypocrisy Accusations When You Change Your Mind
- Strategic Sounding Boards Give Real-World Advice for When the Rubber Meets the Road
Share Your Comments
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Author : Marcia Reyolds
Published: 2024-08-27 08:57:03
YES! I have been teaching "identity-based coaching" for a few years now. If you can envision your desired future, and then see yourself in it, what will it take to become that person? On the flip side, if you don't change who you believe you are today, you won't sustain any attempt at behavioral change. Good stuff. As to norms, they always show up when clients use the word, "should." it is good to explore the validity of shoulds, but a good question to ask is, "How are your shoulds getting in the way of your dreams?" These are difficult to decode on our own because our brains protect our safe identities and norms - that is why everyone needs a well-trained coach!!!